They say more money more problems, but that hasn’t been the case for Tiffany Haddish and her love life.
“I don’t really have time for dating,” Haddish told PEOPLE during an exclusive interview for her new memoir The Last Black Unicorn. “I would like to eventually, definitely by summer time I would like to be dating somebody. I want somebody to give me butterflies. I’ll adjust my schedule for butterflies.”
The 38-year-old comedian says her being single is not due to a lack of men vying for her affections. “I was talking to my homegirl about how men are worse groupies than women can ever be,” she says.
Case in point: “There’s a dude right now, I used to get butterflies for him back in the day and I used to hit on him all the time but he would constantly turn me down,” explains Haddish. “He’d be like, ‘You’re silly Tiffany, quit it.’ But it’s funny because as soon as the trailer for Girls Trip came out he’s all ‘Oh you’re beautiful, I want to take you out!’”
In the end, “I might hit it and quit it,” Haddish says about the unnamed suitor she calls an “opportunist”, but beyond that, “I’m super guarded.”
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Relationships have never been the star’s strong suit. “Dating has been hard for me my whole life,” she writes in The Last Black Unicorn, where she details the abuse she once suffered at the hands of her ex-husband. In a chapter about another relationship, she describes the wildly extreme measures she took to get back at a cheating ex.
“I ate a lot of corn. A lot. And I didn’t chew it so well,” she writes of the time she once pooped in her ex-boyfriend’s favorite pair of Jordan sneakers after learning he’d been unfaithful. The messy story continues that right after he put them on unaware, she let him know he’d just stepped in “All the s— you put me through!”
Thinking back on the moment, “I know I’m crazy,” she says giggling, while promising it’s a true story. “I always try to think of ways to get revenge without going to jail.” With a booming career and drama behind her, Haddish says nowadays, she’d be happy to meet a good guy.
Says Haddish, “I’m open to whatever God puts in front of me and makes my heart pitter patter.”